Back to the grind

Dear Alex,

Now that I have a little more time to myself, I think I might be able to write more frequently than just one letter per month! The reason I have this time to myself, ironically, is because I’ve gone back to work. This is my third week back and we’re finally settling into a nice little routine… but it took some time to get there!

We started by sending you for some “transition” time at daycare in the weeks leading up to my return to work. Luckily your daycare provider, a very nice lady named Karen who watches a few children out of her home, is really great and we feel very comfortable leaving you with her. Unfortunately that didn’t make your first day at daycare any easier for me! I managed to hold it together for the drop-off, but then I came home and cried for about an hour. Being with you day in & day out was something I’d become very accustomed to, and as I sat in your room crying I mourned all the time with you that I’m going to miss out on…. even though I know it’s what’s best for both of us. Anyway, you did great on your first day & every other day so far! You and Karen seem to really enjoy each other, and she tells me that the other little boy she watches full time, a 1-year-old named James, really enjoys you too. She’s been very accommodating of all our requests/schedules/etc, and lives right around the corner from us. Definitely a good fit so far! I took a picture of the two of you together on your first day, but she asked me not to put it on Facebook… which I’m going to assume means I can’t post it here either.

Anyway, I’m glad we did the “transition” days because it made my first real day of work so much easier. My biggest concern was actually the time Daddy has you by himself in the afternoons, since he’d never had to watch you for that long by himself before. The first couple of days were admittedly rough for him. He called & texted me quite a few times with questions and concerns (“Alex won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do with him!”)… and it was really hard for me to watch the two of you struggle. But it really needed to happen that way so that Dad could learn on his own, and now the two of you have your own little rhythm established. I think all the one-on-one time has brought the two of you much closer together as well. Watching you guys play is one of my favorite things to do; it’s just too adorable for words. 🙂 Dad even treats me to cute pictures of you playing with him– he sends them to cheer me up when I’m away at work:

I am very blessed with a job that is extremely flexible– not only do I get to work longer days so that I’m off every Friday, but I also get to work from home on Tuesdays & Thursdays… so I only have to make the trek into the office on Mondays & Wednesdays. Those days are REALLY long though, and on those days I don’t get to see you much at all since you’ve already gone to bed by the time I get home. 😦 But every other day I get to at least see you (even if I’m busy teleworking & can’t interact with you much) from when Dad picks you up at 3:30 until you go to bed at 7. Our main “Mommy and Alex” time, though, is in the early morning. You’ve gotten to where you sleep a solid 10 hours every night, from 7pm-5am (glorious! haha), then I get up and feed you. You always fall asleep in my arms as soon as you’re done with the bottle, and stay asleep while until it’s time to get up for daycare. Once you’re back down I usually go back to sleep myself for a bit, then get ready for work.

I have to say… I live for those few minutes after your first bottle every morning. You’re becoming so independent that you very rarely sleep in my arms anymore. So even though I don’t need to, I sit there and hold you in the rocking chair for awhile after you eat. I’m trying my best to remember how it all feels so that I’ll be able recall it in the months and years to come: the sweet smell of your skin, the feeling of your weight on my chest, your hands tangled up in my hair & your soft little cheek resting against mine, the sound of the deep relaxed breathing as well as the cute little coos and sighs you make as you’re falling back asleep, the smell of your stinky baby formula breath (haha), and just that overall feeling of complete love and trust I get from you whenever you allow yourself to sleep in my arms like that. There’s just nothing else like it, and I want to soak up every little detail now, while I still can. 🙂 Watching you grow up is so very bittersweet that way. And now I’m tearing up as I write this! Sigh.

So that is the routine our little family has settled into: mornings with Mommy, days with Karen, afternoons with Daddy, and long restful nights for our sweet baby boy. It seems to be working well for everyone, and honestly it’s been nice for me to be back at work where I get to have adult conversations on a more frequent basis. Working at my “day job” is surprisingly so much easier than when I was at home caring for you all day… not as fun of course, but at least I get to take breaks! 😉 Haha. And like I said, the time I am with you is that much more special, as cheesy as my description of it may have sounded. I feel like I’ve said this so many times but I’ll keep saying it until I get blue in the face: you are such a blessing and a joy to us. Dad & I love you so much and truly enjoy being your parents. Alex, you are the light of our lives! 🙂

All my love,Mom

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One thought on “Back to the grind

  1. You will be so happy that you have written this down when Alex is grown because as time goes by these wonderful times fade from your memory. YOU are a great MOM !!!! I LOVE YOU. Aunt Jo

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